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I AM SANDRINE’S DAUGHTER

As some of you have suspected, I’ve been up to something! And it’s a new book!

In “Think Outside Your Cubicle”, as it is called, my absolute favorite section is the third chapter which I gave the title: I am Sandrine’s Daughter.

In that chapter, I speak about the power of words and the importance of affirmations.

If you are going to accomplish greatness in this lifetime, you Must speak those possibilities into existence. Initially, you may not believe what you are declaring, but repeat it enough times, and you will find that the accomplishment you are hoping for, will inch closer and closer in reach. Then before you know it, you will be walking in that truth.

It is no wonder the old Proverbs says that “Life and Death are in The Power of the Tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

What is it about our words that are sooo powerful that they could very well change our reality?

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I started practicing speaking affirmations over my life a few years ago, but it is an event that took place exactly a year ago today, that forced me to really put my life into perspective. I lost my dear mother.

With this loss, I learned an important lesson…that no matter where we are in life, no matter how much we have accomplished, no matter how much we haven’t accomplished, one thing for sure, is this:

We are all running out of time.

And so, with the time you have left, how will you use it?

With that question in mind, I started stripping myself. That’s right!

Stripping myself of every definition someone else has stitched into my core existence, words that have limited my mobility in life. I started to pull knots of leeching words off my back, out of my mind, from my thoughts, and replacing them with life-giving affirmations that would allow me to re-define Me!

And so, when I redefined myself, I started with answering one simple question that I want you to also ask yourself today: Who do you think you are?

And as I answered this question for myself, the first words passing my lips were:

“I am Sandrine’s daughter. I know what that means. I am a successful Business Woman. I am a successful Corporate Attorney. I have impacted Millions around the world. I am a Best-selling author. I have a Great Husband and a Loving family…”

I won’t share my entire affirmation here, but I do want to share with you the opening letter to my new book which releases April 28th. Click Here.

Talk to you soon!

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Momma Drama-Queen

Ladies! And I use this word lightly because too many females have no morals or have any idea how to be lady-like.

I would like to address the Momma Drama Queens who are doing untold harm to their children.  Remember, children grow up and there are a lot smarter than we give them credit.

When you decided to have that man’s baby, a man with whom you were so in love with (or so most of you deluded yourself into thinking).  If and when that relationship goes sour, either the man goes his way or you do, why do you think that withholding that child from its father is punishing the father only?

Children do not care if their fathers pay child support – either because they can’t afford to or they don’t want to. Children only care about spending time with their fathers and they want to know that their father loves them.  If you had a child for a man knowing he was unable to support the child, how do you expect him to have money for support once you are no longer in the relationship? I am in no way saying that a man shouldn’t support his child or children.

Parents, if nothing else, stop saying negative things about the other parent in front of your child or children. Remember that as long as your child is alive, you will have a relationship with the man/men that you so hate now.

If the hat fits, you’ve got to understand that lying to your child or children about their father(s), only work for so long.  Children listen to us when we least expect it and can remember a lot more than we think.  We are doing serious injury to our kids when we tell them that their dads/moms are no good, don’t pay child support and doesn’t care anything about them.

Even if you hate that man, and some of you may have reasons to, don’t take it out on the child.

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If the father wants to talk to the child, let him.  Don’t dismiss the call, don’t tell the child that his father doesn’t care about him and that’s why he won’t call.  Allow the child, if they are old enough, to call the father.  If the father doesn’t answer, eventually the child will figure out to stop calling.

Don’t take the cell phone away from the child so they can’t speak with their dads.  There are so many dads out there who take an interest in their child/children and then there are mothers who feel like they can do whatever they want with the child. Stop it.

You are hurting your child when you stop them from spending time with their dad.  Remember, you are the one telling the child no.  Not the father.

Far more upsetting, I don’t get how some females will move in with a man that has a child or children they don’t support but will allow that same man to make decisions about their own child/children lives.  How do you allow another man to tell you if and when you may speak with the child/children father(s) and whether or not your child can call their father?

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I wonder if these mothers even realize the extent to which they are damaging not only themselves but their child/children.  Eventually, these children grow up to hate their mothers.  And we wonder why our young men have no respect for females.  A lot of it stems from how their mothers treated them as kids. They are often the result of females having various men parading in and out of their lives.

So ladies, if your child’s father wants to talk with them, don’t hang up the phone, don’t block their number, don’t speak negatively about them.  To have a father interested in his child or children is a wonderful thing, and you are stopping your child/children from having a relationship with that person that they look up to.

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The Lazy People

Freelancers. They used to be stigmatized as the “lazy people”, you know, the ones who had difficulties finding a job and once they did, they had difficulties keeping one. Never mind wavering economies, unstable job markets, and the lack of experience that deemed college graduates unfit for cubicle and chair—millions of doors slammed shut on them, opportunities that were never opened to begin.

With these new daring mindsets have come a muted struggle to pull away entirely from the orthodox and mainstream views of what success embodies. Freelancers have learned an important lesson, that to scratch the surface, it requires digging deeper, and every day they are up against a new enemy, their biggest competition—themselves.

The workplace-rejects, over 38% of them Millennials, thrive on freedom and flexibility. The single mom can now breastfeed her new healthy baby in one hand while negotiating a deal over the phone in the next. The oil painter now has the flexibility to pick up a few hours of Lyft here and there, and on his own time, he can now—well, paint.

The brilliant lazy people are among the most technologically advanced, leveraging the offerings of the modern world, from social media, advanced apps, to the world-wide web. They’ve learned to utilize these resources to monetize on new opportunities, pushing themselves beyond the capacity of what would have been a 9-to-5 prison.

It was 2012, when I broke out of my prison and into the freelance world as a full-time business consultant. I would be lying if I say it hasn’t been a challenge. I have made lots of mistakes. I have learned from them. I have experienced highs and lows. At times, I have even thought about quitting. But freelancing is a taste of freedom you never want to spit out. You have to swallow it whole, and let the true entrepreneur within you grow. To do this, you have to adapt!

Even companies are adapting. Already, low-skilled positions are shrinking, as more companies are moving towards automation, with robots quickly replacing human resources. In 2014, Phoenix AZ become home of the first fully automated Mc Donald’s ran entirely by Robots. Paul Horner, the food Giant’s spoke person told CNN that it is the demand for a higher minimum wage that has forced the company to consider automation, where only two to three employees would be needed—solely to ensure that the McRobots are functioning as they should. Already other companies have followed suit—with fancy tablets to place orders at restaurants and self-service checkouts within grocery stores.

Scary? Or is it time to step your game up? You have so much to offer than you know. You alone are a force to reckon with. Pick up your pens and write. Pick up your pencils and draw. Wet your brushes and paint. Grab your guitars and strum!

If you have already stepped out on your own and are struggling to make a living—maybe your spouse is breathing down your neck, telling you to get off the couch—you and your silly laptop, and to go look for a regular job. It’s almost as though if you aren’t making money, they think you aren’t working hard. The long hours of marketing, the multiple hats you’re wearing, the deals that slip through your palms. The invoices that go unpaid. No one feels the burn like you do. Or perhaps it is your vision they don’t see—they don’t believe in your dream. Maybe they’ve called you “Lazy”? Whatever pressure you’re up against, don’t quit. Keep pushing. Go back to the drawing board. Re-strategize. Whatever you do. Don’t quit!

Currently in my fifth year of working independently, having helped hundreds of entrepreneurs to successfully launch their businesses, even hiring a small team of my own, I am only now just scratching the surface of infinite possibilities. In my soon to be released E-book,  “From No to Know” I speak to individuals like yourself perhaps, who want to pursue their dreams—mainly creatives who would like to “create” for a living, but there’s something they just can’t get going. I provide strategic advice on how to get started, and I even offer a list of 10 business you can start right away, with little to no resources.

Trust you me, I still have a long way to go, but nothing beats the freedom of being my own boss.

Lazy people Rock!

 

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Fashion Designer Dreams and a Ticket to Paris

The sound of scissors slicing through couture fabric; feet tapping on an ancient sewing machine, causing it to spew out those stitches faster than even I could churn out last minute essays during my senior year in college.

I smile at the memories of our chit chats about Paris; I swear I’ve seen it a thousand times through her words alone. The sweet smells of the French bakeries lingering in the Parisian streets, the feel of soft croissants between my fingers, thick, creamy, chocolat chaud, eliciting fantasies as it is gliding slowly down my throat. She tells these stories at 200-miles a minute, faster than the trains passing through 73 Rue de Dunkerque. Now and then she pauses and I know it is to turn the fabric. She can also hear the curled up ball of fur purring in my lap—he wants to hear about Paris too.

Is that Sir Lee? She asks? The tabby lifts his ears slightly to listen closer, but then the humming of the sewing machine drowns out his curiosity.

I ask her about work.

“Work is work,” She always replies.

It pays the bills; keeps me in a Chelsea New York studio. It takes me to Paris and back.”

How about you?” She asks in return. She genuinely cares too.

I tell her of one of the characters in my book that’s starting a new life in Germany and learning a new language. She had even found love with her professor—only to learn that he is married.

I tell it like it was me he hurt. I tell it like I were the woman—desperately illiterate, cold, and longing for a heart to call home.

I tell it like I hadn’t been the author behind their illicit love affair.

We both laugh until our voices fade into our own backgrounds. I can tell her window is open; the New York street that is her backyard is teeming with life, almost begging for her to come out.

But not Celeste! No way. Not tonight.

Tomorrow she flies to Chicago and then on to Los Angeles.  There’s no other time in between to prepare a lovely gown for the Gala she has to attend on Friday.

Me, I’ll be sitting in a dainty coffee shop in a new city of my choosing, hydrating on Acai berry lemonade, 432 Hz waves streaming through my headphones, engrossed in a new short story that I’m praying to God, The New Yorker will publish.

Still quiet, we both inhale, but there’s no exhaling.

No. Not until the world knows our names.

Not until the universe rewards our hard work.

At one time we did laugh about this, I’m sure she remembers too.

“What if we are still trying to make it at 40?” One of us asked, “Then what?”

“Then maybe I’ll go to nursing school,” She confirmed dryly.

“And me, maybe I’ll pursue that law degree,” I offered.

Both sipping wine, we give thought to the possibilities.

And with a surety that we would never actually consider those options, we laughed again. But we don’t talk like that anymore. For, if a hundred years were to come and go, she would be tapping away on that machine still. A new dress!  A new coat!  And I, with a thousand stories in my head would be typing away on a keyboard.  A new story! A new book!

In a universe where everyone’s unique, this is what we came for.

Voila! Trés Bien. My dress is ready,” She says.

I squeal with excitement for her.

I won’t see the dress until the day of the Gala, but I know it will be dazzling.

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Support Celeste’s Fashion Designer Dream

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Some Folk Ain’t What They “Post” to be

How many of you know of someone, a friend, relative, co-worker, or maybe even a couple who are trying to keep up an appearance?

I have seen so many people act so loving towards each other while posting on face book and other social media platforms, when in fact; the pictures, declarations of love and adulation, the kind words—All an illusion.

I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t serve these couples better to pay attention to their relationships than to try and pretend to people who don’t matter, that everything is wonderful in their lives.

Why is it easier to lie that to tell the truth? Whom are we kidding if not ourselves?  Is it easier to say to the world I am married than to say I’m having problems with my marriage?  Or why say anything at all? We all have problems, but pretending they don’t exist or trying to impress your friends – single or otherwise, that all is well, is preposterous.

After all that posturing on social media, and the conversations with close friends and family about how dreadful things are in your relationship, how do you respond to those online friends when they asked you “what happened to your wife/girlfriend?”

Or, “I haven’t seen you posting any pictures of your husband/boyfriend lately”.

Why do we delude ourselves into thinking that being in a bad marriage or relationship is better than being happy and single?  Many people kid themselves with “I have to think of my child or my children”.  I have too much to lose if I walk away.  Remember, children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for.  They are attuned and susceptible to the changes in our relationships.  Also, would you rather be married and miserable or single and satisfied?  Are the financial benefits that much more important that being happy? I know that they are many people who find themselves financially dependent on their partners and see no other way out.  But for many of us, that’s not the problem.

Too many of us have made a conscious choice to be burdened by a false pretense, than to actually live our lives.

Remember, life is short.  Enjoy it!

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The Unspoken Truth

If, when a man lays a hand on a woman in violence and or in anger, it is considered abuse, why do females think it is okay for them to do the same and get away with it?

Recently, I was sitting at my dining table with the balcony door open, enjoying the beautiful South Florida weather while working; that’s when I heard a woman yelling and screaming.  Knowing how prevalent domestic abuse is, I got up to peep.  As I looked through my door, I realized that the abuse was being perpetrated by the female.

Completely enraged for whatever reason, she was yelling and screaming at her “man”, shoving and hitting him and taunting him to hit her so she could call the police.  I had a moment’s thought at her behavior, and wondered how quickly she had transitioned from loving him to vilifying him.  The vile things she was taunting him with and the belittling words she spat at him, all in public; it made me wonder.  How can someone whom has professed their love for another (and I am going to presume she had told him she did, since they were living together), treat them in such a way, even if that person has hurt them deeply?

Where did that love disappear to?

In an instance – we often forget how harmful words can be.  Once spoken, they can never be retracted.  A broken bone will heal, but those words—reverberated in anger—once spoken, can never be forgotten.  So, even if that person that you were mad at forgives you and you get back together, do you honestly believe that they will ever forget the words that you said to them? Those words will always remain in the back of their minds, like a reel to reel, forever playing in their memory, forever stopping them from fully believing in that relationship, always wondering when it will happen again.  A relationship cannot thrive with that knowledge festering in the background.

We have got to learn than when angry, we should take a step back, count to 100 or a thousand, leave the situation,, take a walk, do countless other things before we open our mouths.  This not only goes for our personal relationships but for all relationships – with our children, siblings, parents, friends, coworkers and even strangers.

The unspoken truth about domestic violence is that, 40% of victims are male.

I must admit, I admired the young man that day.  He never raised his voice to her, never touched her, of this I was glad, because in this society, if he had touched her, he would be the one being arrested for domestic violence. Good for him, he kept his cool in the face of all that turmoil.  His only request to her, over and over again, was for her to get out of his way and allow him to leave.  As upset and as angry that she was with him, she refused him again and again. She finally grew tired of her own ranting, or, maybe of the neighbors’ looking at her and shaking their heads.  Finally, she went back inside.

Do you think she replayed that incident in her head?  Do you think she said things she wishes she hadn’t?   Do you think she misses her “man”?  I haven’t seen him since the incident.  As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen her since either.  When are females going to get it through their heads that they have to keep their hands to themselves?  When are they going to understand that when they hit a man they are committing domestic violence?  When are females going to stop thinking that a man is less than a man because he does not respond with violence? To women who abuse men—it is time to get your act together.

Written by Cynthia Lynch

End Domestic Violence

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Whip Your Own Back!

I drive, therefore, I think.

And so, I was sitting behind the wheel of one of the smallest cars I’ve ever driven—a Nissan March, a popular choice on the small island of Anguilla.  A perfect vehicle for cruising across the 16 miles of sheer unspoiled beauty and tropical scenery.  I put the rubber to the pavement, started making my way around the island, and somewhere in between taking in the tempting beach sceneries, inhaling the fresh crisp ocean air, bobbing my head to a Jacob Miller dub reggae song, and at one point, tapping my brakes to avoid running over a smiling dog quickly making an innocent stride across the street. Somewhere in between it all, I started to think.

What if today was my final day? What if these were my last moments?

For the first time in a long time, I became fearful. Not because I wasn’t sure about what was on the other side—the white lights, the black ones, the dreadful, or even, the peaceful silence, perhaps? Not because of the anxiety climbing up my throat in anticipation of the overtake from a convoy of ATVs edging closer through my rare view mirror, engines humming hard—nor was I afraid of the winding road, gripping my tires, making me aware that it could easily toss me over the cliff’s edge at any given moment.

More dreadful still was this, the piles of unpublished manuscripts, arrested thoughts, ideas, words, all gathering dust on my night stand, on my laptop, and in my mind space. The articles, the vision boards, the dreams, the aspirations…  If I should expire today, I reasoned, then, they would all dissipate with me.

What a heavy burden to carry around in my mind! But the subconscious mind is more conscious than we think. I hadn’t abandoned my dreams on purpose. No. In fact, I hadn’t done so at all. Only that the pressure of running a business, that, and my other obligations, had taken priority over the one thing that I was most passionate about—my writing. I realized that even though I had freed myself from the 9 to 5 office space, even though I was my own boss, even though I could work remotely from anywhere in the world—even with all that, I was still a slave to every energy-draining excuse that kept me away from fulfilling my destiny.

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Which now leads me to asking you this? If today was your last day on earth, what unfinished business would you be leaving behind? Is it the business you never started? The book you never wrote? The dream you never pursued? Are you really dreaming or are you sleeping? If you spend 12 hours a day in bed, by the age of sixty, you would have noticed that you have spent half your lifetime sleeping! That’s thirty years—in bed!

Equally as hindering, a lot of people use the term, “Life happens” as an excuse for why they aren’t reaching their higher selves. The truth is life doesn’t just happen to us. We happen to life, and it responds. Think about it.  It existed before us and will exist after us. And so, let us whip our own backs, motivate our own selves, and succeed on purpose.

I will leave you with this quote by Scott Spencer: The only things I regret, and the only things I’ll ever regret are things I didn’t do. In the end, that’s what we mourn. The paths we didn’t take. The people we didn’t touch.”

So take a drive today, and maybe, just maybe, let all that you have just read, really sink in.

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Enjoyed this blog? Be sure to subscribe so you won’t miss any of the upcoming topics.

Also, be sure to follow me on Facebook and Instagram for a peek into my life-style, and stay-tuned for my coming YouTube channel. From my journey to a vegan diet (I’m not 100% there yet—30% loading 🙂 ) to my new  fitness lifestyle, fashion selections, travel, random-rants, girl-talks, business advice, and much more!

Talk to you soon!

Your girl, Blu.

#BluTalks

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Looking Glass Self

But I was not lost, when I thought to look at me through the looking glass-self. Yet there I found myself, strolling along the white belly of the beach. Nothing else had mattered then. Not the sting of a thousand heartbreaks, nor the burn of a thousand sweet words that would run my cheeks weary if given all at once. But it was not so—no. There I was, nothing before me but miles and miles of blue ocean and sun, and the sentience that perhaps there was more sun than ocean, and more sun than miles.

And I saw myself through the looking glass, and imagined me in my lover’s mind. Beauty and doubt, and more doubt than beauty. Untamed like the ocean whose white tips in one moment, danced gracefully at the shore, and in the next, carried away violently, fighting with the wind.

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My Love, you are the wind—brushing softly up against all that I am. I am neither yours, nor you mine, but somewhere in life’s cycle, we are one. I throw my arms apart to balance me in your mind. I put down the looking glass. I wonder what you’re thinking now, as you smile back at me, dancing in the sand; Miles and miles of ocean behind me, and more sun than that still.

Thanks for reading. Be sure to follow me on Instagram 🙂

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WHEN THE “MOTIVATOR” IS GONE

I carried a photo of her in my wallet and kept a framed one on my desk at work. Whenever the pressure in the office became too overwhelming and I wanted to give up, I would look over at her photo, smile, and remember why I was working so hard to begin with. I wanted to give her the life she never had. I wanted to provide for her. I wanted her to be happy. We only have one mother, after all. Separated by distance, I would call her almost daily just to hear her soft and comforting voice on the other end. Her wisdom carried me. Her words gave me life; and so when the call came that morning that she had passed away suddenly—my world stopped. I wondered how far out of this universe her spirit had journeyed to already, and whether or not it was too late to bring her back.

The phones were ringing, the pulse of the office was still beating; I was an empty shell just standing there in a business suit. But my motivation was gone.

I am not alone in this either. There are plenty of business professionals who experience sudden loss in their personal lives, and this throws them off course. For small business owners, this could prove to be a detriment to business operations, especially if you wear many hats in your company. This leaves one major question on the table:

How do we carry on when the one thing that kept us going is no longer in place?

There’s only one answer to this question and that is, pull yourself together, accept what has happened, and get back up!

But this is easier said than done, so here are 4 tips that I can offer on getting yourself back on track after a sudden loss or tragedy.

Step 1. You are Human. Allow yourself to go through the motions.  If you are a small business owner, when everything comes crumbling down, perhaps you should step away from your duties if you aren’t able to manage them. Delegate. Have someone fill in for you. If this is not possible, let’s say for financial reasons, or because of existing obligations, it is very important that you do what you can to negotiate, request extensions if possible, and do what ever you can in your power to keep your clients happy.

Step 2. Restructure. Whatever it is you are facing, when your “motivator” is gone, you must restructure your life. Even if this means that you will now have to become your number one motivator. That’s okay. Take the time you need to recover, and then prepare to rebuild.

Step 3. Protect your mental space. Your mind is a powerful weapon. Use it. Tell yourself that you can overcome whatever it is you are facing. Write yourself a declaration that you repeat every single day. Mine starts off a little something like this: “I am destined to be great. I am great. No matter what obstacle presents itself, I will overcome it. I am a force to  be reckoned with. My mind is an army.”

Step 4. Get back up! This step speaks for itself. We can’t predict the future, we can’t prevent life from happening around us, but we can fight back. We can push forward. We can overcome. You started something great, so finish strong. Keep pursuing your goals. Complete that degree. Take that business to the next level. Go after that new position. Write that book!

If this article touched you in some way, join me in putting positive words into the universe that you can overcome anything that comes your way. Be sure to use the hashtag #MYMINDISANARMY

I’ll be looking out for your posts!

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“The Widow” Excerpt

He was a most peaceful exhibit—so quietly lying there—not a drop of air filling his lungs. No heavy breathing down my ears, or back, or breasts.

I couldn’t tell what had brought me to the city in such haste, besides the news of his sudden death. But standing there next to his body, in the cold morgue, I pressed my thumb against his wrist, searching for a pulse. When I released his stiff hand, I was satisfied, for it was true. He was dead. And from where I stood, with the shadow of the undertaker tapping my shoulders, the smell of a thousand grave yards reaching for my nostrils, and the mystery of the room gripping at my feet, keeping me in position, right over him, I was face to face with the monster.

He was smiling at me, still arrogant, even unto death. Still undefeated.

Available on Amazon 10/31/16

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Your Boss is Getting Richer, Isn’t He?

Even with one-third of Americans being one paycheck away from homelessness, entrepreneurship is a much more dreadful option—and for a valid reason too. 99% of startup businesses are bound to fail. So 9 to 5 ers are afraid to leave the comforts of their “oh-so-cozy” cubicle jobs that offer unlimited red-bull in the break room, no matter how much instability it brings—never enough money to make ends meet, not enough work-life balance to raise a family, pursue a new field through education and training, and not enough space to take it all in—put things into perspective, and for one second in the day, just settle down and Think.

But what’s the real problem here? We certainly can’t be mad at employers for giving us the jobs we begged for—and the low waged compensation packages we accepted, sweetened with donuts and Pizza lunches on Fridays. Let’s be honest, when you took the job, you knew the bi-weekly checks wouldn’t cover the cost of living but were perhaps too desperate to negotiate. And if this doesn’t bother you now, it will when the reality sets in.

We have become too concerned about what we can do for our employers, and have failed to consider what we can do for ourselves. Many of you reading this right now are guilty of working a 9 to 5 that no longer serves you.

Your boss is getting richer, meanwhile your economic position hasn’t improved one bit. This is not to say that your boss doesn’t deserve to get richer—nooo, there’s a reason why your boss is The boss.

Here’s what I’m saying though. Your time is a valuable resource. It’s the one thing that once you spend it, you cannot get it back. You can work harder, or you can work smarter. If you are cleaning the floors and scrubbing the bathrooms today, that’s okay. But ask yourself, what is my exit strategy? Anything that isn’t growing is technically dying. Think about it. And I’m not saying that there’s something wrong with cleaning and scrubbing bathroom floors.  Heck, if you like scrubbing floors that much, start a cleaning company! Become the best at it. Empower yourself. Walk into work and present your boss with a proposal to outsource these services to Your company. Hire workers. Grow. Expand.

Now of course everyone isn’t cut for business—they just aren’t. And if this is you, you have to position yourself in a workplace environment that supports your personal growth and development. Remember, anything that isn’t growing, is technically dying. The cost of living is not decreasing, and you cannot get your time back. Start demanding what you are worth. If you can’t get what you are worth, then move on.

Finally, whether you are a working a 9-5, or running your own business. Do not place all your eggs into one basket. Find a side-hustle, or another means of income. And never forget that your time is valuable. And if you took the time to read this entire article, that’s five minutes of your time gone. Invest that knowledge by doing something in your life today that will make a difference tomorrow. Do it now. Go.

Thanks for reading.

Start That Business: You’ve got the green light. Releases 12/10/16.

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It’s simple. Stay focused.